It's almost Christmas and I'm feeling nostalgic for being at home with my Patrick and Ronald. Lots of me is still in CH.
Last night I dreamed about Barbara and some apartment we were in. There were ants around and a lot of insects just kept coming out. But Barbara and I were content to be together. We were happy.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Mother's Day 2010
On Thursday, May 6th, I drove to Chapel Hill to visit my dentist, Dr. G. While there I made a special effort to see my sons for as long as they each had time. I had to visit Ryan at Kerr Drug because I was in the dentist's chair till about 3 and his lunch is at 1. Oh well, I went there after my appt. and saw him in the store. I got to see him for about 10 minutes, but knowing he is under the gun to always be working, I try not to stay too long and become hazardous to his career. I couldn't go see him at his house because Pandora was studying for her final exams. I'll take those 10 minutes any time I can get them. He's still my little boy.
My other little boy, Patrick, was asleep when I rolled into the driveway of the house I lived in and helped pay for 20+ years. We moved in there about 3 weeks before Ryan was born and Ryan is 30 now. I moved out about 2003, so do the math. Patrick sleeps during the day because he's out most every night till the wee hours of the morning. What does he do? He's either at some cafe writing on his computer or he's at DSI (Dirty South Improv) doing what he loves. All in all, I expect I got to see him off and on for maybe an hour. When he got home that morning (Friday a.m.), I had fallen asleep as I often do with my MacBook on my lap, sitting in Ron's Lazy-Boy. My meds put me out a lot and I just fall asleep and I've never dropped my Mac once! So, as I was saying, I didn't get to see Patrick for long either, but whilst (like that) in the bathroom that he and I shared, I saw his ratty old shoes which for his mom, made me shudder. They appeared to be the shoes of a homeless person. I don't even want to describe them, except to say, I had to do something about it. I immediately looked at Zappos.com for new shoes for him. I first looked at the brand name on the bottom of his ratty shoes, decided to order new ones in his size 11. As I was ordering them, I saw another pair also that I thought he would like. I ordered both. He just received them Monday (yesterday) and called me to say they both fit and he liked both! Whew! He's been hard to fit, so I am glad I was able to get him something that works for him.
My sons don't have a lot of money so I didn't expect much for Mother's Day, never do. I received a followup letter from Patrick after I'd left him a note at home saying I thought he might have depression and wanted him to get it checked. His reply will be included here. That reply was as good as any dozen roses I could have received.
Here is Patrick's email to me:
On Sun, May 9, 2010 at 6:26 AM, PT Scarborough <ptscarborough@gmail.com> wrote:
Dear Ma,
Happy Mother's Day.
Then, I happened to open an ecard that Ryan sent and I hope I can upload it here and save it forever, though the 123card place says it will only last for 30 days. I'll take it. I'll also upload that here.
Here is the text that went along with the video Ryan and Pandora sent me for Mother's Day. The video is separate from here.
Mother's Day: I wish I could have seen my own mother to enjoy another MD with her. She died Dec. 31, 2006. I miss her. I love seeing all her pictures and I love it that she left an oral biography for us. It was just by happenstance that I came across the little cassette tape she had made maybe 15 or 20 years before she died. My father's voice is on it at the very beginning, trying to help her get the tape recorder started.
It would be easy for me to say I didn't like Mother's Day because I know everyone thinks of traditional things that middle class folks give their mothers and yet, I don't get them. However, I do think Mother's Day is important. At least it's one day when both children and parents can step back and remember a moment in time when bonds were strong, and to remember to try to keep them strong.
My other little boy, Patrick, was asleep when I rolled into the driveway of the house I lived in and helped pay for 20+ years. We moved in there about 3 weeks before Ryan was born and Ryan is 30 now. I moved out about 2003, so do the math. Patrick sleeps during the day because he's out most every night till the wee hours of the morning. What does he do? He's either at some cafe writing on his computer or he's at DSI (Dirty South Improv) doing what he loves. All in all, I expect I got to see him off and on for maybe an hour. When he got home that morning (Friday a.m.), I had fallen asleep as I often do with my MacBook on my lap, sitting in Ron's Lazy-Boy. My meds put me out a lot and I just fall asleep and I've never dropped my Mac once! So, as I was saying, I didn't get to see Patrick for long either, but whilst (like that) in the bathroom that he and I shared, I saw his ratty old shoes which for his mom, made me shudder. They appeared to be the shoes of a homeless person. I don't even want to describe them, except to say, I had to do something about it. I immediately looked at Zappos.com for new shoes for him. I first looked at the brand name on the bottom of his ratty shoes, decided to order new ones in his size 11. As I was ordering them, I saw another pair also that I thought he would like. I ordered both. He just received them Monday (yesterday) and called me to say they both fit and he liked both! Whew! He's been hard to fit, so I am glad I was able to get him something that works for him.
My sons don't have a lot of money so I didn't expect much for Mother's Day, never do. I received a followup letter from Patrick after I'd left him a note at home saying I thought he might have depression and wanted him to get it checked. His reply will be included here. That reply was as good as any dozen roses I could have received.
Here is Patrick's email to me:
On Sun, May 9, 2010 at 6:26 AM, PT Scarborough <ptscarborough@gmail.com> wrote:
Dear Ma,
First off, you will be receiving something in the mail other than this Gmail. Secondly, this is a day to celebrate you. I know that from your visit and your letter you left for me that you have concerns for my well being. Let it be known that the greatest gift I can bestow upon you today; is the knowledge that your Sweet Pea (I) is fine. I am, and in no way have depression. Yes, yes, I may be too young to know somethings, but I ain't no darn fool. If it should be known, I wake up daily with only this nagging nail on my mind: "Who is going to worry about me today?". You and Dad are my parents, I know its impossible to ask, esp of a Mother to ask not to worry about there second or first born. I want it to be known that on this day, it's mostly my fault for not letting you into my life more. I wish I could explain in great detail the friends I have, the women I've loved, the career that does not pay in $ or health care, but pays me in happiness and in knowledge of a future to come. I wish you could escape into my mind for an hour and see the good I feel, and the good that you and Dad have blessed me with. We each, all, carry the same genes, which saddens me to think that you think I have a disease. I have no such thing. The only true gift I can give to you today is this: I love you, and no matter the past, no matter the future, thus will never waiver. "A women knows that no son or daughter will be born perfect. A Mother knows that her son or daughter will be born perfect".
Here is the text that went along with the video Ryan and Pandora sent me for Mother's Day. The video is separate from here.
I love you so much mom and it was great to see you on Thursday. I would like for us to get together as often as possible. Next time you and Debbie are in town, you'll have to come out and have dinner with us. Pandora aced her final exams and sitting on a 4.0 GPA, she sends her love and warm wishes for today. It's beautiful weather in Pittsboro, we're going to take the dogs for a walk soon. We'll give Juno, Yogi, and Lola a big hug for you. I'll call you in a bit today.
Love you dearly,
Ryan and Pandora
Love you dearly,
Ryan and Pandora
Mother's Day: I wish I could have seen my own mother to enjoy another MD with her. She died Dec. 31, 2006. I miss her. I love seeing all her pictures and I love it that she left an oral biography for us. It was just by happenstance that I came across the little cassette tape she had made maybe 15 or 20 years before she died. My father's voice is on it at the very beginning, trying to help her get the tape recorder started.
It would be easy for me to say I didn't like Mother's Day because I know everyone thinks of traditional things that middle class folks give their mothers and yet, I don't get them. However, I do think Mother's Day is important. At least it's one day when both children and parents can step back and remember a moment in time when bonds were strong, and to remember to try to keep them strong.
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Ryan's Family
This is a movie I made for Ryan back in the summer of '09 when he was feeling down. I sent it to him. I hope you enjoy watching it.
A Phone Call from My Daughter-in-Law
One night last week I had a phone call from my daughter-in-law, Pandora. We talked a long time about everything from her going to school to become an LPN to the world events occurring at this time, the disaster in Haiti, etc. She initially had called to thank me for helping them financially since she's not working now and Ryan's income is the only one they have to depend on now.
I really appreciated Pandora's call because it was one of the first times we really chatted a long time about so many different topics. I'm not eloquent enough to really describe or remember all we discussed. However, one of the major topics was the idea that the more education Pandora gets, the better off they will be in the future. Ta Da... that future includes, if all goes well, a child for them and a grandchild for me, Ron and Jill (Pandora's mom). Jill already has 2 grandchildren, but Ron and I have none. Ryan and Pandora had told us at Christmas that they had already picked out names and were hopeful for a girl. One girl's name is Beatrix and I liked the name very much, because of Beatrix Potter. I asked what boys' names they had thought of and one was Thomas Sawyer! I think they were joking about that one. One thing Ryan said that surprised me was that he wanted a little girl because "he thought they were easier to raise". Hummmm.... I was easy to raise because I was "under my parents' thumb" all the time.... cooperation through fear, you might say. In my estimation, however, having boys for children was just right for me. The only thing you have to be careful about with boys is that they take more risks (that testosterone) and people estimate that sometimes boys don't live to be 20 years old because of accidents. The point is, I'd love either a girl grandchild or a boy grandchild, just so long as they have one.
I am grateful that Pandora called me. I know she feels relief about the money issue, but somehow, I feel so much closer to her and after all, that's what being part of a family is all about.
I really appreciated Pandora's call because it was one of the first times we really chatted a long time about so many different topics. I'm not eloquent enough to really describe or remember all we discussed. However, one of the major topics was the idea that the more education Pandora gets, the better off they will be in the future. Ta Da... that future includes, if all goes well, a child for them and a grandchild for me, Ron and Jill (Pandora's mom). Jill already has 2 grandchildren, but Ron and I have none. Ryan and Pandora had told us at Christmas that they had already picked out names and were hopeful for a girl. One girl's name is Beatrix and I liked the name very much, because of Beatrix Potter. I asked what boys' names they had thought of and one was Thomas Sawyer! I think they were joking about that one. One thing Ryan said that surprised me was that he wanted a little girl because "he thought they were easier to raise". Hummmm.... I was easy to raise because I was "under my parents' thumb" all the time.... cooperation through fear, you might say. In my estimation, however, having boys for children was just right for me. The only thing you have to be careful about with boys is that they take more risks (that testosterone) and people estimate that sometimes boys don't live to be 20 years old because of accidents. The point is, I'd love either a girl grandchild or a boy grandchild, just so long as they have one.
I am grateful that Pandora called me. I know she feels relief about the money issue, but somehow, I feel so much closer to her and after all, that's what being part of a family is all about.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Josie Sullivan
Josie Sullivan is the person that the bubble is pointing to. I didn't even know her till about November '09. She is an artist from Columbia, Missouri. She was asked to be part of the Studio Artists Display in Kentucky, which occurred in October '09. I desperately wanted to go to be part of it because I knew Georgia Fatwood was in charge of it and she is my solid friend. Nevertheless, I didn't get to go, but I learned a lot about Josie and her art work. I am even in the process of buying one of her pieces now.Somewhere along the way, a big horrible thing has happened to Josie. She developed a tumor which was impacting her pituitary gland in her brain. She had an operation at Boone Hospital on Jan. 12 to have the tumor removed. Supposedly, the operation went well and the entire tumor was removed. No one could have been more surprised than Josie and the rest of us that after she went home, she was still having headaches and started spitting up blood clots. This went on for about a week and then, she finally has had to return to the hospital. Our group on FACEBOOK and the Loyal Opposition have been keeping close watch on her condition. She is feeling scared and we are doing everything possible to keep in touch though we are all far away. I hope Josie will read this when she gets out of the hospital.
FOLLOWUP: Josie finally was able to come home from the hospital this week (Feb. 1). She is controlling her headaches better and starting to sketch in her book now. She and Scoutie are getting along. I talked to her this morning and it was snowing in Columbia! I'm so happy that she's getting well. She deserves the best!
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